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Regaining Trust in Ourselves - Spirit Hacking

I'm currently halfway through a book that is helping me raise my vibration. This book is Spirit Hacking by Shaman Durek. Yes, I'm aware that 'raising my vibration' is a New Age expression and that it is often used by some as an expression of spiritual elitism... but believe me, I have been so low recently that anything that lifts my mood and thoughts (especially my thoughts about myself) is raising my vibration in very tangible and undeniable ways. 

Shaman Durek and I have some uncanny similarities, not only in that we both come from diverse shamanic lineages, my two main ones being Norse and Saami, and one of his being Norse, but also being born of mothers who left us with abusive and repressed fathers at the tender age of three. It was this revelation at the start of Spirit Hacking that made me sit up and really pay attention to the rest of the book.

Here was someone who had to endure a similar childhood scenario to mine and who had overcome it in the most triumpant way, by fully embodying his calling to serve Spirit and humanity as a Shaman.

Shaman Durek speaks very eloquently about the need to honour our inner child with what he refers to as 'soul talk' - I realised that my self-talk/'soul talk' hadn't been very nice recently and this chapter reminded me of a recent-ish dream I had.

In the dream, I was swimming in the ocean together with other refugees, trying to save myself. Next to me, on the righthand side (corresponding with the inner father), a man was swimming with a baby in tow. The baby was drowning but when I tried to rescue it, the man told me off and I woke up.

You don't need to be Einstein to figure out that this dream was about me not honouring my inner child and being way too hard on myself. Clinical depression ensued as a result.

Soul talk is about speaking to our inner child the way a mother would, the way the Goddess speaks to all of creation. This then allows us to begin to trust our intuition which springs forth from this Divine Inner Child, as do all of our inspired creations.

When we truly begin to trust ourselves and the voice of our intuition, we can begin laying many of our divination tools to one side. For instance, rather than using a pendulum, you can ask your body to show you 'yes' and 'no.' Simply pay attention to how each expresses itself in your body.

In November-December last year, I decided to dive deeper on my path of service and develop my mediumship gift. Essentially, the spirits have been busy showing me since then how tiny my trust in myself was and how they couldn't possibly work with me until I was ready to start trusting myself.  Barriers had to be broken down.

This has been an incredibly painful process but now I'm starting to emerge from the shadows again and I have rescued my Divine Inner Child from the constant battering and abuse I poured over her in the past. She has taken the lead now.

The journey of authentic transformation is not linear.

Ever since I read the Neverending Story at the age of 12, I knew it was her voice I should trust above all others... but I kept forgetting. The programming has been strong but walls of the matrix have crumbled some more... The programming always kicks back the strongest right before it is shattered permanently.

Ritual for personal power 

You can find a Tarot spread for engaging with shadow inspired by Spirit Hacking HERE.



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