|Odin's Last Words to Baldr -|
Last night, before going to bed, I pulled a rune for invoking dreams from the gods about the year ahead. The rune I pulled was Jera, the same rune I had pulled in the morning as my rune of the day. I took this as a good omen that I would indeed receive messages about how to make the most of 2020.
I had an intense night of dreaming about the runes and a feeling of meeting up with Freya Aswynn on the astral plane to learn from her. The Laguz rune was particularly prominent in the dream and I woke up remembering seeing it hovering in the air before me, entirely made of water.
One of the main things on my mind that I felt I needed confirmation about is who my inner plane guides are on this journey of truly mastering the runes and honouring the ancestors as well as the gods with my rune work. The two gods I feel a magnetic pull toward is Odin and Hel. I love Freya unconditionally but I don't have the same strong magnetic pull with her. That said, she has appeared before my inner vision and I don't feel the connection blocked in any way; it's just as if she isn't there for me in that capacity...
So, with that in mind, you can perhaps imagine my emotional response when my daily card and rune draw this morning was...
'So you want to be a runester? And you are seeking Odin himself to teach you? *rumbling laughter* We have been watching you for years now, Hel and I. You have humbled yourself and we accept that you are finally ready to begin the journey of purification and initiation.
You know it is going to cost you. You also know that the rewards are going to be beyond what you are currently able to apprehend. Welcome to the Gate of Yggdrasil - The Nine Worlds await you. Some of your journeys will change you forever. Not everyone is going to like that but for this you were raised without the support of your native land or your birth family - so that you could learn to stand on your own, naked before the gods. We welcome you!'
SeidaMy heart skipped more than one beat and I instictively moved the Odin card to my lips to reverently kiss it. I had been more confident about my connection with Hel since I worked closely with her for a whole year about ten years ago, up until I miscarried and my life fell apart completely for a while. She can have that effect - I am aware and better prepared this time. Also, I'm entering my crone years now and feel I'm in a good place to rebuild my working relationship with her.
Would Odin have me... Would he really?! I think the answer is 'Yes'! And I am aware that he too can demand a lot in return but I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Later on in the day, my eldest daughter and I went down to where the rivers Balder and Tees merge. I wanted to show her a Seida (the Sámi name for a sacred stone) which is next to an equally sacred birch grove with a sacred Huldrfolk Hawthorne is situated in the middle. If you click on the link, you can view some of the pictures I took there. It's an amazingly powerful place!
A name changeWhen I got back in, I knew I had to change my name and drop the 'Lisa' - I go by my middle name, Frideborg, now, as of the moment the realisation struck. The name Frideborg means fortress of peace. The name numerology of Frideborg is perfectly symmetrical with that of my date of birth and, better yet, it's an Old Norse name.
The reason I was given Frideborg as my middle name was that I happened to be born on the saints day for that name, according to the Swedish calendar. A few years ago, I learned that she earned her place in that calendar by virtue of being the first Viking woman in Sweden to convert to xtianity. I reclaim the name for my ancestors and the gods now!
It is interesting that my parents gave me such a strong name that connected me to forn sed. They taught me nothing of the old ways and, like most Swedes, showed no interest in it. I don't know what their motive was, other than (maybe) laziness but I am grateful nevertheless.
Either way, as someone who was 'raised by the gods' I have always felt a strong affinity with Hel and when I ready in Freya Aswynn's book, Northern Mysteries and Magick how those of us who are outcasts from our own families often get adopted by Hel and Odin, things just started making perfect sense.
BalderThe final piece of the jigsaw to fall into place for me today was when I found out that the village I live in is actually an old Viking settlement. I mean, my bad, I totally should have researched this sooner because the River Balder is a huge clue. Not only is the river named after Baldr but in Cotherstone itself lies hidden the ruins of an ancient temple to the God of Light himself!
Finally, I feel as if I belong here and ended up here, in this tiny Teesdale village for a reason. For the longest time, I felt like an outcast, an incomer, not wanted... Now I know I'm wanted by the gods themselves and the rituals I have done by the river so far have been favourably received. After both my ritual to the Vanir and my ritual to Ymir, I received gifts in return from the gods.
Now I feel truly blessed and finally connected to the land around me...
And of course, the Laguz rune of my dream last night was in reference to the river Balder!